A gay first post

I've been known to enjoy the occasional episode of Sex and the City on Comedy Central in the early hours of the morning. Not only does it provide me with a gateway into the mind of the modern woman, it's sometimes funny, somewhat stylish and you occasionally get to see a bit of boob. However despite my obvious affection for the show, I wouldn't admit to watching it if asked. If I reveal my true feelings towards Sex and the City, will people think I'm 'gay'?

The problem is that the word 'gay' has lost all meaning. I, on a daily basis, can describe washing machines, lamp posts, dogs and wireless internet settings as 'gay'; and I hate myself for it. Not because it's a blatant misuse of the word, or even because it's offensive towards homosexuals, but because I'm unable to find an appropriate substitute when I wish to express my dislike for a particular object or person. Basically, I own an impeccably poor vocabulary.

Despite my attempts to improve my range of vocabulary, I can't foresee the phrase 'gay' being replaced any time soon. It's because the word 'gay' perfectly encompasses everything you want to say. It's just easier than describing the scoop of ice cream that has fallen off your cone and onto the floor as 'frowned upon, shunned from modern society and disliked by the elderly'. Essentially we've hijacked the word from the homosexuals because we're too lazy to express ourselves coherently.

I feel a degree of sympathy towards the homosexual community for the misuse of their word. Only when homosexuality is truly acceptable within society will the phrase become obsolete and fade away; though a much more likely conclusion is that homosexuality is officially banned, and the law is enforced by a Power Rangers-like multi-machine consisting of Republicans, the BNP, Australia and Christianity, wielding an ironic penis-shaped sword of prejudice and intolerance.

However this still doesn't solve my original dilemma regarding my love of the sassy New York singletones and their sexy, sushi-fuelled lives. If I admit to liking the show will people call me 'gay'? They probably will - but it'll be because they can't think of an appropriate insult like 'homo' or 'raving bender boy'.